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  • 中国诗歌会网

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    [短诗行板] 只想靠得更近

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    1#
    发表于 2013-7-13 12:36:23 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
    本帖最后由 何青龙 于 2013-7-13 17:35 编辑



    文/何青龙

    摸索,蜗行
    背负,孰重孰轻
    我、你,都不容易

    视界,无穷远
    想你,是一种暖
    心总是紧邻

    意念,在不远处
    你的坚持,我的靠近
    彼此,相向爬行

    会有一双幸运的眼睛
    定格我们:相拥一瞬


    2013年7月13日上午题图(下午修改)
    2#
    发表于 2013-7-13 16:26:48 | 只看该作者
    无野兔的潇洒
    也没有乌龟的道行
    你的坚持,我不放弃

    欣赏诗友的新作!
    3#
     楼主| 发表于 2013-7-13 17:34:43 | 只看该作者
    流星雪梦 发表于 2013-7-13 16:26
    无野兔的潇洒
    也没有乌龟的道行
    你的坚持,我不放弃

    问好版主周末!谢谢来读,欢迎批评!
    已经第四节删除,并将第三节调整一下,欢迎诗友们多提意见!
    4#
    发表于 2013-7-22 14:59:32 | 只看该作者
    开始没有感觉,多读了几遍,越安静越慢的时候,就突然有了一些感动。加油!
    5#
    发表于 2013-7-23 12:49:15 | 只看该作者
    如此蜗牛式的爱情——真诚——浪漫——诗人有好才!
    6#
    发表于 2013-7-24 23:28:24 | 只看该作者
    把痴情,定格成相拥一瞬
    7#
     楼主| 发表于 2013-7-26 17:48:18 | 只看该作者
    问好楼上各位!欢迎来读、批评!
    8#
    发表于 2013-7-31 14:45:28 | 只看该作者
    这一段路虽然艰辛,可是前面是幸福的港湾,老师好有意境。美!支持

    9#
     楼主| 发表于 2013-8-1 09:02:29 | 只看该作者
    江南水乡 发表于 2013-7-31 14:45
    这一段路虽然艰辛,可是前面是幸福的港湾,老师好有意境。美!支持

    问好!谢谢来读、点评,请多提意见!
    10#
    发表于 2013-11-17 20:39:17 | 只看该作者
    图文并茂,短而精,品读
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